since this is the Brotherhood of Grammer can i get some feedback (constructive, that is) on my main story the "Law of Survival, The Red Raven" found at this link [link]

warning, it is a bit bloody and violent...

thanks...

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Dawn of a New Era: [link] wicked Hatchet/Girl-Who-Owned-A-City/Lord-of-the-Flies/ style story... come read. and also come and check out my prints. help feed a hungry artist

Though I DO NOT want to join the Brotherhood [even though I have a habit of pointing out/correcting grammar/spelling errors, I do not like doing errors on purpose, and I get a weird feeling when I hear/read grammar errors in Spanish (though this brotherhood is about English grammar], I got a few questions.

1) WHat do you mean by "win the magical ruby of Karaba in single combat"?
2) What is the "dark beast of Ramatirka"?
3) Why do you not just call this the "Sibblinghood of Grammar" to include the other gender? (Is "siblinghood" even a word?)

I also got a few good things to tell you.
1) You are pretty good with keeping the high standards here! (i.e. only allowing the proper use of swords)
2) You are good with including the "correct with love" rule! ("Do not repay evil for evil" is a Biblical concept, though bad grammar is not a sin for me. Also, Jesus did say about treating others the way you want them to treat them! But what am I talking about here? I am not supposed to give a sermon, even though sermons are not bad. However, I am trying to make a point here.)

Also, there is a bit of knowledge that I want to share with you.
1) Do not use "is when" or "is where" phrases. Instead, rewrite the sentence or use "is the event of" or "is the location of" (However, I think that the former is prefered.)
2) Do not split infinitives (the word "to" and a verb). If there are any words between the phrase, put them somewhere else. (For example, instead of "To obey is to instantly obey," use "To obey is to obey instantly.")
3) Do not leave participles dangling. Every participle must be next to the word it describes. [For example, instead of "After much planning, the bomb that AVALANCHE set up exploded," use "After much planning, AVALANCHE placed a bomb in the Mako reactor." (If you still do not see the sense in this, remember that a bomb cannot plan, yet AVALANCHE, an organization set up to protect the planet, can.)]
4) The active tense is usually better than the passive tense. Make the subject the performer of the action. (For example, instead of "The Wii Remote was held in the Tug of War form by 9-Volt," use "9-Volt held the Wii Remote in the Tug of War form."
I hope this helps!

P.S. I changed my writing style specifically for this brotherhood. For example, I normally would have said "the Tsunahiki form," its Japanese name, instead of "the Tug of War form," its English name. However, I only made 2 changes to my writing style in here, so my general-use writing style has good grammar.

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"For [God's] anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life:[...]" Psalms 30:5

"[...]A passion for Japan is enough for two all-American girls to get by!" Ruby, Moe USA

(avatar origin)

A worthy cause indeed. For too long have I been plagued by people who still use abreviations in the middle of sentences.

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Stay off the grass.

i'll join the brotherhood! Today we fight against bad grammer!

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Dawn of a New Era: [link] wicked Hatchet/Girl-Who-Owned-A-City/Lord-of-the-Flies/ style story... come read. and also come and check out my prints. help feed a hungry artist